


it's not the way i'm meant to be, it's just the way the operation made me

by devereauxed



Series: 25 Kisses [3]
Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, High!Rose, Masturbation, Pre-Canon, Smut, giggly kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-06 10:54:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10333073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devereauxed/pseuds/devereauxed
Summary: Rose gets a little high.Also some hospital angst, because I can't help myself.**Added a second chapter because high Rose was too much fun to write.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [likevel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/likevel/gifts).



> Anna asked for stoned Rose and this is where I went. YOU'RE WELCOME. 
> 
> I actually had a note at the top reminding me to try and keep this fluffy and stay away from the angst (because M and Anna were telling me to), and it sort of worked. 
> 
> So here's giggly kiss!
> 
> [Explicit rating for chapter two.]

Luisa groaned and pressed her pillow over her face as her phone vibrated loudly on the nightstand beside her. If she wasn’t on call she would have turned the damn thing off, but no she had wanted to _be a doctor_ and _help people_. She sighed and threw the pillow off the bed. Her father had already called her twice, and he needed to take a hint. It had been awhile since she’d seen him. He probably wanted her to come to a family dinner, but of course a family dinner meant Rose and she just couldn’t handle that yet. They had broken things off. Again. Rose had decided things were getting too serious. Again. And Luisa was left feeling hollow and simultaneously hating her and missing her like air. Again.

This had been their longest stretch so far. They’d had a good six months this time, and Luisa had started to think that maybe things would end differently. She had tricked herself into thinking that maybe, just maybe, Rose would finally let herself accept how she felt about Luisa and do something about it. She should have known better.

The phone next to her stopped vibrating, and she picked it up to see who had called. It wasn’t her father this time, it was her brother. As she looked at the phone a text came in from Rafael.

_Call me back as soon as you get this._

Worry flooded through her. Maybe it wasn’t just a family dinner. She quickly called him back.

“Hey, Lu.”

“Hi, what’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be in Ibiza? Is everything okay?”

“Dad said he’s been trying to call you, but you haven’t picked up?” Rafael responded.

“Yeah, I just didn’t want to deal with it today,” Luisa explained.

“He asked me to call you. He needs you to meet him at Mercy.”

She sat up. “What? The hospital? What happened? Is he okay?”

“No, yeah, I mean, he’s fine. It’s Rose actually,” Rafael replied.

Luisa’s heart dropped. “What?”

“I don’t really know the details, but something happened and he called an ambulance. Last I heard they were on their way to the emergency room.”

Luisa was already up and getting dressed - not really paying attention to what she was putting on, all that mattered was she was wearing _something_. Her hands were shaking and her heart was pounding, but she tried to keep her voice even as she responded to her brother. “I’m on my way. I’ll text Dad and let him know. Thanks, Raf.”

“No problem. Keep me updated, yeah?”

She agreed and hung up the phone before grabbing her keys and running for the door.

* * *

  
Luisa half-ran down the hallway of the hospital, heading for the waiting room she knew her father was in. A stop in the emergency room had informed her that Rose had been rushed to the OR, and she was doing her best not to sprint through the hospital corridors. At least she knew her way around the hospital, which made panicking and running at the same time a little bit easier. She found the room and paused just outside. She knew she needed to calm down. If she went in there as hysterical as she felt, it wouldn’t look good. _What do appearances matter if she’s….if she_ , Luisa shook her head, trying to keep those thoughts at bay even though they hovered menacingly at the edge of her mind. She took a deep breath and turned into the room.

Her father was sitting in the corner, out of place in his nice suit, his attention focused almost entirely on his Blackberry. To anyone else he would have seemed unconcerned and calm, but the rapid tapping of his foot gave him away, at least to his daughter.

She approached him cautiously. “Hi, Daddy.”

He looked up and his face cleared as his stood to hug her. “Hi, _tesoro_.”

She sat down with him. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer earlier. What happened? How is she?” Luisa attempted to keep the panic out of her voice.

“It’s apparently appendicitis. She should be out of surgery soon, the doctor said it would be fairly quick. They told me that it’s a good thing they caught it before it ruptured and it's really an easy surgery,” he told her.

Luisa let out a slow breath. Her anxiety lessened knowing it was just an appendectomy, but she was also well aware of how many things could go wrong under anesthesia - she wouldn’t really relax until Rose was awake and talking.

“How long has she been in surgery?” Luisa asked carefully.

“About twenty minutes,” he responded flicking his eyes anxiously to the clock on the wall.

Luisa covered his hand with hers. In moments like this she really didn’t know how to react. She desperately loved Rose, and because of that she sometimes hated her father for the way he blithely got to have her every day, got to sleep next to her, got to marry her, but she couldn’t hate him right now. He cared about Rose too, and he was worried, and so she held his hand, and they waited.

* * *

  
Nurses had been coming to update them every so often - it helped that they knew Luisa. Rose was out of surgery and in recovery, everything was looking good. Luisa wanted to be happy, she wanted to relax, but she knew she wouldn’t until she saw Rose with her own eyes. The nursing staff promised that it wouldn't be long, but Luisa was getting impatient. She was fighting a constant battle between her increasing worry about Rose, and her attempts to not let her father see them.

“Dr. Alver?” a voice said from the door.

Emilio and Luisa both snapped their heads up.

“You can see her now,” the nurse said with a warm smile.

They both stood and followed the nurse who led them to Rose’s room. As they approached the door, Luisa let her father move ahead of her. As much as she wanted to rush past him into the room and grab Rose’s hand, she knew that she couldn’t, and even though it broke her heart, she also knew it wouldn’t be what Rose wanted.

She lingered by the door as Emilio approached the bed. Rose was awake, but just barely. Luisa knew that even though she was technically conscious she wouldn’t remember anything that happened right now. Emilio took her hand and spoke to her quietly, and Rose seemed to be doing her best to focus on him but it wasn’t quite working. Her eyes closed and she forced them back open, letting them wander slightly. Luisa could tell the moment that Rose noticed her. Something flickered in her eyes before they clouded over again, and she seemed to be trying to say something but the words coming out weren’t making much sense.

Emilio brushed a hand against her face in an attempt to calm her, but Rose was no longer paying him any attention. She lifted the hand Emilio wasn’t holding off the bed, but couldn’t hold it up for long. Luisa's stomach sank as realized Rose was reaching for her.

She moved away from the door and toward the bed. Rose seemed to be getting more and more agitated and the brunette knew it was because she wasn’t in control of the situation, so she spoke to her calmly, “Hey. You’re okay. Everything’s okay.” Rose’s eyes flicked to hers and Luisa could see confusion and a small amount of fear in them.

“You just came out of surgery and you’re coming off the anesthesia, but everything looks really good, and you’re going to be fine. I’m-we’re here,” Luisa told her steadily, trying to walk the line between informative, comforting doctor and something more. She knew she’d slipped slightly, but her father hadn’t seemed to notice.

She saw Rose take in her surroundings carefully, scanning the hospital room as if to verify what Luisa had told her. When she moved her eyes back to Luisa she appeared calmer, which the brunette took as a good sign. Rose’s eyes moved down Luisa’s body and a small smile spread across the redhead's face.

“What?” Luisa asked, confused and looking down at herself, but quickly realized why Rose was smiling. In her haste to get to the hospital she had thrown on a tacky, loud, tourist-y Fort Lauderdale hoodie that Rose had gotten her as a joke a few months back.

“Nice sweatshirt,” Rose said, hoarsely and Luisa hid a smile.

“You should rest,” Luisa told her softly. It was obvious that even in her enjoyment of Luisa’s choice in clothing, Rose was fighting sleep. Rose locked eyes with her, and Luisa’s nerves calmed. _There she is _, Luisa thought. _She’s still right there.___

____

Emilio interrupted what he didn’t know was a moment between the two women by squeezing Rose’s hand and drawing the redhead’s attention back to himself. “Sleep, darling. Luisa is right, you need to rest.”

Rose nodded and closed her eyes before sliding quickly back into a deep sleep. Emilio looked at Luisa. “You don’t need to stay, she seems okay.”

Luisa knew by the way she had reacted that Rose wanted her there, and she worried that if she were gone when Rose woke later it might upset her, so she said, “Oh I don’t mind. I want to be here for you guys. And just in case they do release her later you guys won’t have a car. I’m good.”

She sat in the chair next to Rose’s bed casually as Emilio moved to the chair on his side. “Thank you for your help, she really seemed to respond to you,” he said.

“Oh, um, yeah, the doctor in me sees a patient in distress and just reacts, you know?” she said with a smile, hoping that she wasn’t giving anything away.

Emilio smiled warmly at his daughter, “You’re a good girl, _tesoro_.”

Luisa did her best to maintain her smile as her father pulled out his Blackberry once again, only letting it drop once his attention was focused elsewhere.

She sighed and shifted her gaze to Rose, vigilantly watching her breathe in and out.

* * *

  
Luisa pulled her car up to the loading zone in front of the hospital. Emilio stood behind a wheelchair-bound Rose who looked every bit a petulant child. Her arms were crossed tightly, and the look on her face was stony. The 'we have to wheel you out of here, it’s hospital policy' argument had been a sight to see, but Rose was eventually forced to give in. For the last few days Rose had had very little control over anything concerning herself and Luisa knew it was driving her insane.

As soon as Luisa parked and moved to get out of the car, Rose was out of the chair. She was very clearly in pain, but she waved Emilio away, refusing to let him help her. She immediately opened the front passenger door and lowered herself carefully into the seat, leaving Emilio to climb into the back. Luisa turned her laugh into a small cough as her father slid into the car. Rose was taking advantage of any chance to regain even the smallest amount of control.

“Let’s go,” Rose muttered.

“Okay, princess,” Luisa responded back in a low voice she hoped her father couldn’t hear. Rose turned her head slightly so she could catch Luisa’s eye, and there was a ghost of a smile on her face.

The drive back was spent in total silence, Rose pouting at her lack of autonomy, Emilio fearing setting Rose off, and Luisa mildly enjoying the tension, mostly happy that Rose was doing well enough to be a pain in the ass, and that she got to spend some time with her even if just for a little while.

Luisa parked in front of the Marbella. Rose immediately attempted to get out of the car, but Luisa put a hand on her arm, stopping her as Emilio hurried to get out to help. As her father moved to open the door an employee caught his attention and Luisa took the opportunity to quietly say, “You need to take it easy, Rose. I’m serious. I know you hate this, but if you want to get better, you need help.”

Rose wouldn’t meet her eye. “I don’t mind _your_ help,” she said under her breath. Emilio opened the door and grasped Rose’s arm, gingerly helping her from the car.

After Luisa’s directive for Rose to take it easy, the two of them were able to get her up to their room with little argument. However, once upstairs, Rose, true to character, refused to change her clothes and go to bed. She insisted she just needed “some time,” and by that point both Luisa and Emilio had given up trying to wrangle her. At least she was home and mostly sitting down, though Luisa pushed one of the pain pills they had sent home with them into Rose’s hands and watched until she actually took it. She also insisted Rose needed to eat so she placed her antibiotics and pain pills on the nightstand in the bedroom before calling down for room service.

After hanging up the phone she stared at the bottle of pills, fighting the urge to pocket just a few. _For emergencies_ , she told herself. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about how once Rose was feeling better, she was going to lose her all over again. Luisa stood, trying to put some space between herself and the bottle. It was only after she turned away from the bed that she noticed Rose standing in the doorway watching her. She hadn’t said anything, she’d let Luisa make the decision for herself, but she locked eyes with her and nodded slightly, smiling at her softly before turning and heading back into the other room.

Soon, the food arrived. Emilio was noticeably distracted during the meal, spending the majority of it texting frantically on his Blackberry. Rose didn’t seem to mind and spent most of the meal in a fog of medicated exhaustion. Luisa’s phone rang loudly, breaking the silence, and as she looked at the caller ID she noticed the time.

“Hey dad, it’s time for her antibiotic, can you grab it? I need to take this. The bottle on the left,” she called over her shoulder, hoping her father was actually listening to her.

When she returned half an hour later Rose had retreated to the bedroom, and her father was still focused entirely on his phone.

“Dad, did you give her the pill?” Luisa asked.

“Hmm?” he asked.

“The pill. Did you give Rose the pill?” she pushed.

He finally looked up at her. “Yes, I gave her the pill, Luisa. The one on the right.”

“What? No! I said the one on the left! You gave her another pain pill!” Luisa said and headed to the bedroom. She stopped in the doorway and fought the urge to laugh. Rose was sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs splayed, staring hazily at her fingers.

“Rose?” Luisa prompted, gently. Rose lifted her head too quickly, unbalanced herself and nearly fell onto her back, catching herself with one hand. She looked at Luisa with unfocused eyes and smiled vaguely. Luisa bit her lip to keep the giggle in as she felt her father move to stand behind her.  
  
“Is she okay?” he asked sheepishly.

“She’s going to be fine, she just needs to sleep it off, but…she’s a little high,” Luisa responded with a smile. Emilio moved past Luisa into the room and put a hand on Rose’s shoulder.

“Darling, we should get you to bed,” he said with a smile.

“No!” Rose said twisting away from him and actually falling over this time.

“I should try and help her change, maybe you should step out while I do that,” Emilio turned to Luisa.

Rose giggled from the bed and whispered loudly, “He doesn’t know that you can see me naked too.”

The color drained from Luisa’s face and she looked at her father, prepared to make any number of excuses for what Rose had just said. To her surprise and relief her father was laughing. He looked at Luisa. “You weren’t kidding about her being a little high.”

Luisa forced a laugh as she turned and headed back into the other room, her heart still pounding at the close call.

* * *

  
A little while later Emilio emerged from the bedroom already engrossed in his phone again.

“How is she?” Luisa asked from the couch, where she had been trying to distract herself.

Emilio didn’t answer, and Luisa finally snapped.

“Dad! Could you pay attention to something that isn’t your phone?! You just drugged your wife!” she yelled.

Her father looked up in surprise then hesitated, “I know. I’m sorry, there’s been an emergency downstairs and I’m trying to take care of it from here.”

Luisa sighed. “You should just go. I’m here, I can watch her.”

“Are you sure?” Emilio said, looking relieved.

“I’m more than sure. At least I know I can get the right pill into her,” she responded, only half-kidding.

“Thank you, _tesoroa_. I’ll be as quick as I can,” he answered, already on his way out the door.

She half-heartedly waved at him, already knowing it would be hours before he made his way back upstairs. She headed back into the bedroom and found Rose in her pajamas, facedown on the bed, one leg below the covers and one leg above them. Luisa couldn’t tell if she was asleep or not, but either way she knew that she really needed to get her to take the antibiotic. She also knew that Rose laying on her stomach wasn’t going to do her any favors while she was healing.

She sat down next to the redhead on the bed, opening the bottle and shaking out a pill. She rubbed her hand softly across Rose’s back. “Hey, I need you to take this,” she said quietly.

Rose rolled carefully onto her back, wincing slightly. She looked up at Luisa, and smiled hazily. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Luisa responded softly.

“Where is he?” Rose asked.

“Some emergency downstairs, he’ll be back later,” Luisa responded cautiously.

“So….,” Rose pushed herself up until she was leaning up against the headboard then leaned forward toward Luisa. The brunette leaned back and Rose slumped against her.

“So I need you to take this pill,” Luisa said with a smirk.

“Luisaaaa,” Rose whined.

“Rooooose,” Luisa whined back.

“What do I get if I take the pill?” Rose said, slightly slurring her words.

“A life free from infection,” Luisa quipped back.

Rose leaned her head on Luisa’s shoulder and muttered, “Not good enough.”

The brunette smiled softly to herself, “I know but I really need you to take this pill.”

Rose reluctantly held out her hand and Luisa placed the pill in it, watching her carefully as she washed it down with water.

“Thank you,” Luisa said as Rose slumped back down in bed. “Why are you such a nightmare patient?”

“You know why,” Rose answered simply. “And I don’t even know why I need to be taken care of, I feel great.”

Luisa snorted, “Yeah, I think that has more to do with the double dose of Vicodin you currently have flowing through your system than you being a magical healing sensation.”

Rose giggled at that. Luisa smiled widely at her, Rose wasn’t a giggler, so this was nice. When Rose didn’t stop giggling, Luisa couldn’t help but start. The redhead was laughing so hard Luisa was worried she might pop her stitches, but before she could point that out Rose’s lips were on hers and the brunette could feel her giggling into her mouth.

Rose pulled away before Luisa could really react and smiled at her. “You’re so pretty. I missed you,” she said quietly before she let out another giggle and slumped against Luisa again, snuggling into her neck.

“I missed you too,” Luisa responded gently. This wasn’t the time to re-hash everything that had blown up between them the last time. She was just going to enjoy warm, giggly Rose who was snuggled into her side.

“Can we order pizza?” Rose looked up at her, her blue eyes wide and filled with a strangely innocent wonder. Luisa broke into a smile.

“You just had a very fancy room service dinner,” Luisa told her.

“Yeah, but that was fancy food and it tasted fancy. I want greasy food. I want food teenage boys eat,” Rose said.

“So Mountain Dew and Flamin' Hot Cheetos?” Luisa nudged her softly.

“What are Flamin' Hot Cheetos?” Rose asked in astonishment. Luisa laughed.

“They’re Cheetos, but spicy,” she told her.

Rose gasped excitedly and sat upright, but quickly winced and leaned carefully back against the headboard.

“Seriously, love, you need to take it easy. You’re killing me,” Luisa groaned.

Rose’s eyes went soft, the pain draining from her face, replaced with a silly smile.

“You called me 'love',” she said.

Luisa swallowed hard. “I did, didn’t I?” If Luisa was worried the moment was going to take a turn for the serious, she needn’t have. Rose giggled again and kissed her on the cheek sloppily.

“I like it. I like you. I like pizza,” she said and Luisa shook her head.

“High Rose is much more agreeable, maybe I should just double dose you until you’re healed,” Luisa joked.

Rose stared at her for a second. “I’m pretty sure that I have agreed to many things you’ve asked for. Loudly.”

Various images of Rose doing just that flashed through Luisa’s mind in rapid succession, and the brunette felt warmth pool in her stomach.

“You behave,” Luisa said.

“But I really don’t want to,” Rose grinned wickedly.

“You are healing, sex is off the table,” the brunette responded sternly.

“This is a bed, Luisa, it’s not a table,” Rose said proudly.

Luisa laughed. “I can’t tell if you’re so high you think you’re really informing me of that or if you think you’re being funny, but either way no sex. Doctor’s orders.”

Rose pouted. “Playing doctor with you was so much more fun when I wasn’t actually sick.”

“Oh I know,” Luisa grinned.

They settled into a comfortable quiet for a few minutes, and Luisa started to wonder if Rose had finally fallen asleep.

She hadn’t.

She lifted her head, smiled at Luisa with unfocused eyes, and asked, “So….pizza?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose finally gets what she wants - pizza and sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anna wanted more high!Rose and this is what happened. 
> 
> It is somehow fluff, smut, and angst all at the same time. 
> 
> Still a little unsure about this one, but I need to stop staring at it. 
> 
> ALSO, feel free to help my writer's block by [sending me prompts](http://fortdevereaux.tumblr.com/tagged/guys-send-me-prompts). Please. I beg of you.

Luisa pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“Rose, you need to come sit down. For the love of god.”

The mumbled reply from the closet sounded vaguely like, “ _You_ need to sit down.”

“Rose! Now! Please!”

The redhead appeared in the doorway with a sly smile on her face. “I do love making you scream my name.”

Luisa glared at her even as her face flushed. “Look. I know that you feel fine, but _once again_ it’s the double dose of narcotics in your system. You’re going to feel twice as bad tomorrow if you don’t take it easy.”

Rose attempted to saunter toward her but listed to one side and walked into the dresser, and Luisa bit her lip to fight back a giggle. Pushing herself up from the bed, she moved toward the other woman, grasping her hands gently and leading her back to bed. She smiled as the redhead finally seemed compliant enough to lie down, only to find herself pulled down with her, landing ungracefully in an attempt to avoid falling on Rose’s stitches. 

“Rose!” 

The redhead grinned up at her unapologetically. “Hi.” 

Rose pouted as Luisa shook her head and pushed herself up, forcefully covering the redhead with blankets.

“Now stay,” she said, pointing at Rose emphatically.

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to the bathroom. And you better be here when I get back!” she called over her shoulder, half-convinced that she would have to call security to get eyes on wherever Rose disappeared to in the three minutes she was gone.

When she returned to the bedroom Rose grinned at her innocently from the bed.

She raised an eyebrow. “What did you do?”

The redhead gasped at her indignantly. “I do what I’m told and I still get yelled at? See, this is why I don’t play by the rules.”

Luisa snorted and moved to sit beside Rose on the bed. “Ain’t that the truth.”

Rose leaned her head back against the headboard, looking at her with so much affection it made her heart ache. Even at their most intimate, Rose was careful with her affection; she tried to keep it muted and hidden, but now she was broadcasting it for Luisa, letting her see just how deeply it ran. The knowledge made her both happy and sad. If Rose cared this deeply for her, what was keeping her from doing something about it, something real? 

She pushed the thoughts aside. There was little she could do about it now and she might as well enjoy it while it lasted. She reached out and ran a finger lightly down Rose’s nose, and the redhead wrinkled it adorably.

“You should try and sleep,” she told her quietly.

“No,” Rose replied with a wide grin.

Luisa smiled and shook her head. “What do you suggest we do instead?”

The other woman opened her mouth eagerly, and Luisa covered it with her hand.

“Something that does not involve sex,” she added. Rose pouted and said nothing. “Really? You can’t think of _anything_ else you would like to do with me other than sex?”

Rose looked up at her, her eyes soft. “I can think of a lot of things.”

She felt her heart skip slightly and looked away. Clearing her throat, she grabbed the remote from inside the night stand. “Watching TV it is.” 

She hit a button and the TV rose from the base of the bed. Rose had claimed that a TV would ruin the design aesthetic of the space and had insisted that it be hidden if they were to keep it. The dulcet tones of Rachael Ray filled the room and Luisa gave Rose a knowing look. She was doing her best to look disinterested, but the light pink flush to her cheeks gave her away. The Food Network was Rose’s weakness, and Luisa knew it.

“Stop looking at me like that,” the redhead said.

“I just really want to know when you would need to make thirty minute make-ahead meals,” Luisa teased.

“Sammies, Luisa,” she said, her face serious.

“Rose, you don’t eat carbs.” 

 As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Luisa looked up, confused, but Rose grinned deviously. 

“What did you do?” Luisa asked again. Rose shrugged, trying to look innocent and failing. With a sigh the brunette stood and made her way to the door, opening it to find a Pizza Hut delivery boy. 

“I really should have seen this coming,” Luisa said.

The boy looked confused but she shook her head, “Nevermind. Did she use a card or do I need to find cash?”

“Just need a signature,” he said as he held up the receipt. She gave him an astoundingly large tip at her father’s expense and took the pile of boxes from him.

As she walked back into the room, Rose clapped joyously like a child.

“You couldn’t just order one pizza?” Luisa said, dropping the boxes on the bed.

“I did!” Rose said. “The rest of this is fries, breadsticks, and cookie something.”

She wanted to be annoyed, but the redhead was rather adorable as she tore into a breadstick, chewing happily. She took a seat next to her, opened the box she assumed contained actual pizza and froze. 

“Rose, what is this?”

“It’s half meat lover’s, half pineapple green pepper onion mushroom bacon,” she responded, shoving fries into her mouth.

Luisa closed the box carefully and pushed it away from her. “I have eaten my share of non-sober food but there is nothing that excuses that.”

Rose grabbed the box possessively. “Good thing it’s _my_ pizza then.”

“You didn’t even go for good pizza. You got Pizza Hut.”

“I didn’t _want_ good pizza, I wanted pizza that tasted like a cheese Frisbee. And I got it. Because I get what I want,” she said decisively as she opened the box and took a bite. 

For the next fifteen minutes Luisa watched Rose devour everything in front of her with enthusiasm she normally reserved for devouring Luisa herself. When the last bit of ‘cookie something’ as Rose had called it had disappeared, the redhead collapsed back onto the bed.

“Oh my god I needed that,” she said.

“I feel like I should be offended that I am so easily replaced with shitty pizza,” Luisa replied, leaning back against the headboard.

“It’s not my fault that the pizza put out,” Rose said.

Luisa just rolled her eyes.

A companionable silence settled over them as they watched the Food Network switch from Rachael Ray to Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. One episode turned into two then three and before long Rose had curled into Luisa and tangled their feet together. Luisa wanted to resist but she gave in with a sigh, running her fingers gently through Rose’s hair.

She was so comfortably content that it took her longer than it should have to realize that the redhead had slid a hand beneath her dress and was rubbing soft, suggestive circles across her thigh, her hand creeping slowly upward. She put a hand on Rose’s, stopping it tenderly.

“Rose…” she whispered. Rose looked up at her, her eyes hazy with something beyond the pills still coursing through her system.

“Lu, please,” the redhead said quietly. “I can’t not touch you. It’s been so long.”

Luisa refrained from pointing out that it had been Rose’s decision to stop seeing each other, but didn’t release the other woman’s hand. 

“Don’t you want me?” Rose continued, her fingers still drawing sensuous circles against her skin.

“God Rose, of course I want you. But, even though I know you don’t feel it now, you are going to be in so much pain tomorrow,” Luisa told her. “And I would never forgive myself for hurting you.”

Disappointment flitted across Rose’s face but was soon replaced with a daring expression, her eyes glinting evilly.

“Just because I can’t touch you doesn’t mean you can’t touch yourself,” she told her, her voice sultry. Luisa felt heat rise within her. “Come on, show me what I’ve been missing.”

That’s all it took. She knew Rose was baiting her but it didn’t matter. She wrapped her fingers around the other woman’s wrist tightly and moved it to the bed, pressing it to the sheets. 

“You want to know what you’ve been missing?” Luisa said, her voice dangerous, and Rose met her gaze unflinchingly, challenge in her eyes.

Luisa swung a leg over Rose, straddling her, ensuring that she kept her weight on her knees and not on Rose’s stomach. Rose sat up slightly to lean against the headboard, but before she could slide her hands up Luisa’s legs, Luisa grabbed them and pressed them back to the bed.

“No. You don’t get to touch. This is what you wanted, remember? No more touching? That was your rule, Rose, you should really stick to it,” she said. “God, I’ve never been so frustrated. I want you so badly, but I can’t have you. I wake up from dreams of you and can’t decide if I want to slap you or fuck you.”

She pulled her dress up slowly, watching Rose war with herself, clearly unable to decide whether to keep her eyes locked to Luisa’s or watch the slow reveal of skin below.

“Look, Rose. You wanted to see, didn’t you?” 

The redhead immediately moved her eyes to Luisa’s hands, watching as she inched her dress up over her legs and hips, revealing underwear already wet with her arousal. Rose breathed in deeply at the sight, looking up at her with a look that was equal parts proud and reverential.

“Yeah, that’s for you. But you can’t have it.”

She felt Rose tense beneath her as her eyes flicked back to between Luisa’s legs. Luisa slid her dress higher, slowly revealing her breasts encased in a lacy black bra. She pulled the dress off over her head, and the redhead swallowed hard, her fingers clenching and unclenching in the sheets as she fought the urge to touch her.

“For someone who wasn’t expecting sex, you sure are dressed for it,” Rose said, speaking directly to her chest, not bothering to hide her interest.

“Oh I always dress up for you, whether you want me or not,” Luisa replied.

Rose tore her eyes away from Luisa’s chest and looked up at her, her expression serious. “I always want you.”

Luisa had a feeling that the pills were playing a role in the honesty etched across the other woman’s face, but she felt her heart beat faster and a new rush of wetness between her thighs. She leaned forward and captured Rose’s lips in a deep kiss. When she pulled away the redhead’s lips were pleasantly swollen and her eyes were dark.

“I always want you too,” Luisa said, cupping Rose’s face with one hand, keeping their faces close. “You walk into the room and I _feel_ it. I feel it _here_.” She slid her other hand into her underwear, feeling her wetness slide across her fingers. 

Rose’s breathing quickened as Luisa stroked herself slowly, rubbing light circles across the sensitive skin. Luisa leaned back, balancing herself on her knees, making a show of her slow, firm strokes, watching the other woman follow every movement she made with wide, hazy eyes. She looked down to see that Rose was digging her nails into her legs, doing her best to behave and obey Luisa’s directive not to touch, and felt a deep satisfaction at knowing how badly Rose still wanted her. She slid two fingers inside and began to roll her hips, riding her own hand slowly, and was rewarded with Rose instinctively licking her lips. Luisa moaned low in her throat. She pulled her hand from between her legs and brought her fingers to Rose’s lips. The other woman eagerly sucked them into her mouth, running her tongue deliciously across each digit to remove every bit of the taste of Luisa that she could find.

“Fuck,” Luisa whimpered before pulling her hand away from Rose’s mouth. Luisa placed one hand on the wall behind Rose and returned the other between her legs, rubbing herself firmly, rolling her hips quickly into her hand.

Rose gave up on obeying the rules and moved her hands to Luisa’s chest. She pulled the cups of her bra down and immediately took a nipple into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it. Luisa wanted to scold the redhead for breaking, but the feel of Rose’s mouth back on her after so long was far too delicious to stop. All she could do was drop her head back and groan, her pace between her legs quickening with every stroke. Rose was scraping her teeth across Luisa’s nipple and franticly grabbing at every bit of skin that she could reach.

“What are you thinking about?” Rose whispered.

Luisa pulled her head up to look at her. “You. Fuck, always you.”

“Tell me.”

“Your fingers inside of me, your tongue. How loud you are, how you taste, how you look when I’m so deep inside of you,” Luisa panted. 

Rose moaned, grabbing Luisa’s hips tightly.

Once Luisa started, she couldn’t stop. Every memory, every fantasy, came rushing out. She continued, “How badly I want to bend you over this bed and take you, to get you on your knees in the shower with your mouth between my legs, to tie you to this bed and fuck you until you’re incoherent, to have you completely in every way possible, how I know I’m the only person who can, even when you fight it.”

Rose grabbed Luisa’s face and pulled her into a rough, messy kiss. She bit Luisa’s bottom lip as she pulled away and said, “Fuck yourself like you want to fuck me.” Luisa’s fingers scratched fruitlessly at the wall, trying to find something to hold onto as she pushed herself forcefully toward orgasm, gasping for air, her legs shaking and threatening to give out, her heart pounding, her vision dimming at the edges. It wasn’t long before she shattered, panting, slamming both hands to the wall to keep herself from collapsing on Rose.

“Holy shit,” Luisa whispered, her chest heaving as she drew in much-needed air. 

The redhead ran her hands soothingly up Luisa’s back and placed a series of gentle kisses along her collarbone. “That was incredible,” she said into Luisa’s neck.

Luisa swallowed hard before pushing back, sitting on her heels and pulling her bra back up to cover herself. She avoided Rose’s eye. She’d said so much, she’d given so much away.

“Lu,” Rose pressed. 

“Are you okay?” Luisa asked, focusing on her hands. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Luisa, look at me.”

She looked up to meet the blue eyes looking at her carefully.

“You didn’t hurt me,” Rose told her. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do.”

Luisa nodded slowly.

“And you didn’t say anything I didn’t want to hear.”

There was no uncertainty in Rose’s eyes. Luisa knew that the pills had a lot to do with that and a small voice in the back of her mind whispered that Rose would likely return to her normal state of denial and dismissal as soon as they wore off, but for now she was looking at her with pure adoration.

Rose tangled their fingers together. “And as soon as I’m healed we are doing _all of that_.” 

She said it with such strangely innocent earnestness that Luisa couldn’t help but laugh. The fuzziness was returning to Rose’s face, and she smiled dazedly.

Luisa leaned forward to kiss the other woman softly. She rolled off of her and searched the bed for her dress, but Rose put a hand out to stop her.

“You can’t sleep in that,” she said.

“I can’t sleep in this either,” Luisa replied.

Rose hesitated for a moment and the brunette looked at her questioningly.

“Go into the back of the closet, behind the red Manolos.” 

“Why?” Luisa asked, confused.

“Just do it.” 

Luisa stood and made her way into the walk-in closet, finding the red heels toward the top and pushing them out of the way. She felt behind them and pulled out a soft grey and red cotton shirt. Her breath caught in her throat and she walked back into the bedroom to find a blushing Rose avoiding her gaze. 

“When did you take this?” she asked the redhead, awe in her voice.

“Two years ago,” Rose replied quietly.

Luisa slipped the shirt over her head and ran her hands across the lettering across the front.

 _University of Boca Raton_. Her college shirt. She thought she had lost it, and she didn’t know how to process that Rose had taken it in the first place, let alone kept it like some kind of totem, ironically hidden in the closet.

She slipped into the bed next to a still blushing redhead, and smiled widely at her until Rose moved to lie on her back, grabbing Luisa’s arm and pulling her down with her. 

“You’re adorable when you’re stoned and embarrassed,” Luisa told her.

“Shut up,” came the muffled reply as Rose looked away.

“You know I can’t sleep here though, right? He could be back any minute. We shouldn’t have even done that. It was stupid,” Luisa said. 

Rose was quiet for a moment before saying in a low voice, “He won’t be back tonight.”

“What?”

“He won’t be back tonight,” she repeated. 

“How do you know that?” Luisa asked. 

“Because it’s not the first time.”

“Rose…” Luisa pushed up on her elbow.

“Don’t, Luisa,” Rose said.

“Is he chea-“

“Luisa.” 

“You are recovering from surgery!” Luisa said indignantly.

“Luisa!” Rose snapped. “Please.” 

Luisa pushed the anger she’d felt flare within her aside to deal with it later. As much as she wanted Rose for herself, and as many times as she had been directly involved in Rose being unfaithful to him, the idea of her father seeing someone else behind Rose’s back made her furious. She didn’t want to look too closely at that logic, but she couldn’t help it. 

She laid back down, sliding her arm around Rose again, careful to avoid her incision.

“I don’t want him here anyway,” Rose said.

“Okay,” Luisa replied softly.

As silence fell, she wondered if this would really change anything in the end. Rose was far too good at denial, and she knew that even her father being unfaithful was unlikely to push her to leave. Which was not only frustrating but confusing considering how independent and strong-willed Rose was. 

She was pulled from her musings by the sound of a snore from beside her. She looked at the other woman and bit back a laugh. Rose had finally given in to her body’s exhaustion and passed out in the most undignified manner. Her mouth was open, drool already starting to run out of the side, and her snoring was growing louder by the minute.

Luisa sighed. “And all it took to get you to sleep was three hours, pizza, the Food Network, and me doing unspeakable things to myself. I’m amazed at your ability to find new and interesting ways to be difficult.” 

She kissed her cheek and curled into her side, letting herself drift off.

When Rose woke three hours later whimpering in pain Luisa pressed a pill into her hand without a word of ‘I told you so’ and held her until it subsided.


End file.
